Being pregnant is similar to riding a roller coaster. There is excitement, fear, anxiety, joy, and anticipation. At my 36-week appointment, I asked my OB if she had any advice as I prepared to become Mom. She replied, “Spend as much quality time with Kody as possible in the next few weeks. Go on a road trip, watch movies together, and go out for a nice dinner. Your life is about the change forever, in a wonderful way, but you’ll never have this time of only Skylar and Kody again. Don’t wish these last few weeks away. Enjoy them.” That is not what I thought she was going to say. I was expecting a list that included the following:
- Preregistering at the birth center.
- Ensuring my breast pumps are working.
- Prepare frozen meals.
- Have a formula on hand.
I left my appointment that day with thoughts of the Kody and Skylar era coming to a close. In the following days, I admitted to Kody that I feared having a child might change us. I didn’t want our relationship to change. I loved Friday movie nights. I enjoyed the car rides to Libby when we chose not to talk but to listen to an entire country album. I’ve even come to appreciate waking up early on Sunday mornings to watch Formula 1. I knew we could still do all those things with a child, but it wouldn’t be the same. Life would never be the same. These thoughts of our relationship forever changing were at the forefront of my mind leading up to the due date.
On another note, when you are pregnant, everyone (and I mean everyone!) loves to share their story. I heard at least four birth stories a week from close friends to complete strangers. I didn’t mind hearing others’ stories. It was a good reminder that every labor and delivery is different. I listened to others’ advice, recommendations, and warnings. I ignored and forgot what I didn’t fancy hearing. Of all the guidance I received, everyone failed to tell me I’d fall in love a second time. No one mentioned it, yet it has been the best part of this 10-month journey.
You might be thinking, “Of course, you fell in love with Marlow.” Yes, that is true, but I loved Poppy -> Marlow long before June 24th. I didn’t have to fall in love with her. She imprinted on my soul the day she was conceived.
People failed to tell me that I’d fall in love with my husband all over again. Kody was supportive and understanding of all my emotions during pregnancy which I was beyond grateful for. I expressed to Kody on multiple occasions that I feared labor. He usually shrugged it off and said I’d be fine, but when it came to the real deal, he showed up in every way possible.
Many Mommas have told me that the labor process becomes a blur after some time, and we soon forget the pain and discomfort we endured. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget how Kody walked with me down the hallways as we waited for contractions to begin. I want to remember how the nurse and I forced him to leave to get food when he refused to leave my side. I want to recollect him telling me how proud he was of me during hour 3 of 4 of active labor. I want the memory of him holding our daughter for the first time stuck in my brain forever.
We knew our relationship would change as we transitioned from a couple to parents. However, we didn’t know that we would witness versions of each other that we’d immediately appreciate and adore about one another. I’ve always been in love with Kody, but I didn’t anticipate falling in love all over again. It’s been the best blessing that everyone forgot to warn me about.
The Kody and Skylar era now includes a Marlow, and I believe the best is yet to come for this family.