There was a food truck festival in town last weekend. The honey-soaked corn dog was well worth the $9.25. As we were strolling Marlow around, trying to keep her occupied in the aroma-filled heat wave, Kody made an offhand comment about the clothing choice of a teenage girl. I laughed, “That is a very modest look compared to what most teenage girls wear nowadays.” Kody didn’t need to verbalize for me to know that he was envisioning 12 years from now when his little girl would be a teenager. (Oh … the parenting ahead of us!)
Becoming a mom was life-changing. The emotions you feel when you hold that baby in your arms for the first time are almost indescribable. It’s the purest love. We, mamas, are the lucky ones. We have nine months of bonding, whereas the Dad starts that process when the baby is born. Even then, it is an uphill battle for the first six months. If nursing, the Mom provides the food. The familiarity of your heartbeat and voice offers comfort and safety. Marlow looked for me to meet all her essential needs in the scary new world, and I loved being her everything. Still, it caused great sadness when Kody had to offer Marlow up because no matter what he did, she would sometimes not soothe with him.
Kody’s heart has always been full of love and compassion, but it grew twice as big the day he became a Father. I’ve never seen anyone so determined to create a bond with his daughter. I saw the frustration in his eyes after he’d spent an hour rocking her to calm her down, and the second I put a hand on her, she’d immediately stop fussing. He wanted so badly to be Marlow’s safe place. It would have been easy for Kody to say that Marlow would grow out of her neediness for her Mom and would grow to like her Dad. Instead, he was relentless. I would scold him at 4:00 am every morning when he snuck into her bedroom to say goodbye. I would stare at the monitor and pray she would not wake up as he smothered her with kisses. The second he walked in the door after work, his bags and nasty gym socks sat on the floor all night because he became too busy playing on the floor with that little girl. Bathtime is Kody and Marlow’s time! The speaker comes out, and they splash and scrub away the day.
Over the past year, I’ve watched Kody work every day to create a bond with our child. I often hear him say, “I’ve never loved anything like I love this Baby Bug.” He loves her, and she loves him. I know this as a fact.
Dear Husband,
We were in our mid-twenties when my heart was drawn to you. You were carefree, and your eyes were filled with light. I see you now as a man, the weight of responsibility heavy on your shoulders, eyes dimmed with exhaustion. I want to encourage you today—the work you do matters—outside our home, yes, but especially here in our home.
I love watching you play. I listen to the giggles as you hide behind the corner. Marlow’s hands and knees pound on the floor as she speeds to peak around the corner, waiting for you to fly out and tickle her. I love the way you love her. I am thankful she will have an example of a gentle, loving man.
Fatherhood is a hard job and a heart job. It requires strength, gentleness, patience, and time. Dear Husband: I love watching you be a Father.